Am I the only one who finds this extremely discouraging?

 

WORK&VOLUNTEER EXPERIENCE 

Sales Vendor, Macy’s, Marlow Heights, MD  10/2009-present

-Selling fragrances by Paris Hilton, Queen Latifah, Mark Ecko, and Jessica Simpson lines

Really? Are you?

Dear Sir,

Please find the attach file of my resume for your kind consideration.

I am expecting your call for the interview so that, I can prove my self, I am the wright person for this position.

Regards

And he’s still working there.

Date: May 19, 2006 11:03 AM
Subject: OOS today
To: Hardware

I’ve got a lot of stuffs to do around here and I was stuck in a
traffic last night for more than an hour, so I don’t feel like driving
today. Have a good day, everybody.

–Nathan

“Online Referral”

I was to referred to you by [name redacted]. He knows I am looking for employment and he told me to try your staffing company. He has known me by these names, Angellette or MissBeaujolie, just some name I used online when I first chatted with him.

Lift this

(Note: we exclusively staff administrative positions.)

I am a recent graduate form Allied Training Program, where I got certified as a HVAC Techncian (heating and AC).  I’m looking for an entry level position, where I can grow from the bottom to the top. I also have great experience with cars, and working in warehouses… I am able to lift 315 pounds. Hopefully able to work together to help support my career.

Happy day, or we are not pimps

From: merci

Sent: Friday, October 02, 2009 3:56 PM

To:  Staffing Agency

Subject: Hi from idealist.org

Hi happy day to you,i am miss Merci who viewed your profile today and like it very much,which makes me to write to you to let you know that i am interested in you,therefore i will like you to write me back through my mail address so that i will tell you further about myself and send you also my picture for you to know me physically.

Here is my mail address,

My email address is    [redacted]

Miss Merci. 

This job is not a Happy Meal

Me (confirming the assignment): “So give us a call when you arrive on Monday.”

Temp: “Wait… the job is just data?”

Me: “Yes… It is a database assignment- entering information into a database.”

Temp: “Oh. Then I decline the job. I thought I’d have more options.”

I does other stuff good, too

From a friend: … Somebody just put a “shit”load of resumes on my desk, and I came across this gem…

“Other Relevant Skills: i know how to play many sports so i know what i’ll be doing”

Spesh-ul cover letters

People, you’re killing me… Why you should always proof-read:

“I am very self-sufficient when it comes to my work ethnic skills.”

“I work well in face paced environments.”

“She poses a bachelor degree on management from the university of Phoenix.” (Note: never write cover letters in the third person.)

“My highlighted experiences and skills are on the attacked resume.”

That’s not even my name

Actual email:
“Mr .herson I would like to know if u teel have the positiom open compcierge . I am interested.thanks”