Happy day, or we are not pimps

October 2, 2009

From: merci

Sent: Friday, October 02, 2009 3:56 PM

To:  Staffing Agency

Subject: Hi from idealist.org

Hi happy day to you,i am miss Merci who viewed your profile today and like it very much,which makes me to write to you to let you know that i am interested in you,therefore i will like you to write me back through my mail address so that i will tell you further about myself and send you also my picture for you to know me physically.

Here is my mail address,

My email address is    [redacted]

Miss Merci. 


This job is not a Happy Meal

October 2, 2009

Me (confirming the assignment): “So give us a call when you arrive on Monday.”

Temp: “Wait… the job is just data?”

Me: “Yes… It is a database assignment- entering information into a database.”

Temp: “Oh. Then I decline the job. I thought I’d have more options.”


I does other stuff good, too

September 25, 2009

From a friend: … Somebody just put a “shit”load of resumes on my desk, and I came across this gem…

Other Relevant Skills: i know how to play many sports so i know what i’ll be doing”


Spesh-ul cover letters

September 23, 2009

People, you’re killing me… Why you should always proof-read:

“I am very self-sufficient when it comes to my work ethnic skills.”

“I work well in face paced environments.”

“She poses a bachelor degree on management from the university of Phoenix.” (Note: never write cover letters in the third person.)

“My highlighted experiences and skills are on the attacked resume.”


That’s not even my name

August 5, 2009

Actual email:
“Mr .peterson I would like to know if u teel have the positiom open compcierge . I am interested.thanks”


Now I know my ABZs

July 13, 2009

“My email address is E, X as in ‘zebra’…”


Cash money hos

July 1, 2009

Actual signature on cover letter:
KA$H•~BAK ON MII GRIND~•